Christmas as we know it
fot. Sławomir Ostrowski
Christmas, Chirstmas, Christmas. I can’t get enough of this wonderful holiday. Just like pizza. Now that would be a perfect combination. Pizza for Christmas. Ah yeah. Why do we always eat stuff that your peasant ancestors ate because they were too poor for good food?…Like pizza. However, probably 19th century peasants would have put ketchup on it.
You guys could at least somehow justify carp on Christmas Eve. Americans eat turkey on Thanksgiving Day because they believe it was what the Pilgrims had for their first Thanksgiving in Plymouth, pre-Massachussetts, pre-USfuckin’A in 1620. Of course this is just a myth/bullshit, but for most Americans there is historical precedence.
Besides all the holiday dishes (I know, no need to remind me. There must be twelve dishes on the table. Not because of Jesus’s twelve disciples because of twelve toes all those in-bred peasants have on their feet.), another tradition is the Christmas Eve mass. In the middle of summer whenever I want to have a break fom the heat, I think of standing in that cold damp church ( while we’re on the topic of churches, is there a competition in Poland to build the ugliest church? If so, there are a couple in Olsztyn which are in the running.). In July, I have such thoughts, “I wish I could be wearing three layers of clothes plus coat. Mustn’t forget the scarf either or the extra pair of socks.” Then the summer heat doesn’t seem so bad anymore.
Of course the Christmas Eve mass wouldn’t be the same without everybody singing carols (kolędy). Jezus Malusienki; Prybieżeli do Betlejem; Lulejże, Jezuniu; Gdy Się Chrystus Rodzi; and of course Cicha Noc everybodey’s favourite (but not mine. Played in a certain way which is how it’s commonly done in churches at midnight, it tends to be a dirge (elegia, zawodzenie, pieśn żałobna). A list of carols so long that you could be standing in that cold dank ugly church and singing all night and not be totally bored silly.
I’m sometimes asked if I know any Polish Christmas carols. In fact, I only know two Polish songs in their (almost) entirety: Sto Lat and My Cyganie. As for carols I can sing only a few of the words here and there. A perfect example is “Gdy Się Chrystus Rodzi.” I start off pretty well but then just mumble soon afterwards until we arrive to the big ending “na ziemi.” Wait I’m wrong, I’m thinking about “Przybieżeli do Betlejem”; each verse ends with “na ziemi.” Hold on, I’m confusing all the carols now. It wasn’t “Gdy Się Chrystus Rodzi” or “Przybieżeli do Betlejem” but “Bóg Się Rodzi” and not the line “na ziemi” but instead “między nami.” This probably explains why people always give me dirty looks when we’re standing in that cold dank ugly dirge-like church, any carol we sing and I’m just ending every line with either “na ziemi” or “między nami.” But it would be funny to include in all the carols “…and a happy new year”.
Back to carols during the Christmas Eve mass. If you really enjoy them then you can attend two of them (at least in the church I usually go to) – the early mass at 10:00pm/22.00 for children or the mass at midnight. The earlier mass is geared for chidlren with a lot more carol singing, a greatest hits of koędy, which is also ….led by children i.e. a chidlren’s choir. I don’t mean to imply that these young innocent voices can’t sing very well….but it would be nice if the church could pay for a proper choir instructor. The church helpers/volunteers/servants are handy for lighting candles, ringing bells, collecting money, pouring wine, mopping floors, wiping down confessional booths (if you know what I mean, then you’re just sick) but leading a children’s choir is not their strong point.
Plus it’s always the same poor nun who’s leading the little innocent tone-deaf angels. She has unfilled dreams of succeeding in music (at least I can pursue it by being in a rock band but she’s stuck with those kids who are only doing it because their parents forced them) and is thinking, “I devoted my life to God for this?!”
So if you’re not up for listening to these young golden voices, then the midnight mass is the other choice. A perfect opporunity to sing along with the old ladies who really aim for those high notes as if they are little balloons floating up to the high ceiling of that drafty church and their voices are needles trying to pop them. Besides a choir director, a real choir could do wonders for the mass. Really liven things up. Maybe increase attendance for mass. Christmas carols should be sung gloriously, joyuously, not as if by hoardes who are afraid to enjoy life to the fullest.
With that it’s time for me to return to enjoying Christmas. Better than last year but not as good as next year. Talk to you soon. Love. J
Cicha noc, święta noc
Pokój niesie, ludziom wszem
A u żłóbka Matka Święta
Czuwa sama uśmiechnięta
Nad dzieciątka snem
And a happy new year!
Cicha noc, święta noc
Pastuszkowie od swych trzód
Biegną wielce zadziwieni
Za anielskim głosem pieni
Gdzie się spełnił cud
And a happy new year!
Cicha noc, święta noc
Narodzony Boży syn
Pan wielkiego majestatu
Niesie dziś całemu światu
Odkupienie win
And a happy new year!
